I am asthmatic, and since I am stubborn and impulsive at times, I do not follow doctor's orders nor religiously take medication. Fortunately, I do buy all the prescribed medicines and I try to learn everything about the disease. I know that asthma is hereditary and there will come a time when my children will have it too. I dread the day but it has come much sooner than I expected it would be. Baby J had a cough that lasted for two weeks, he was given antibiotics but it never completely went away. He started coughing late at night, and then vomiting when he feels icky with the phlegm. But the phlegm was whitish and his cough was frequent when the AC was very cold. I need not put 1 and 1 together to think that he might be having symptoms of asthma.
I called my cousin who is a pedia and described his symptoms, and she confirmed, baby had asthma. She told me to eliminate all the triggers. So my OC germphobic and moldphobic mode was activated...now his clothes has to be washed with a little bleach to kill mildews and molds. He also seemed sensitive to too much coldness, so now he sleeps in a body suit. He also have learned to wake me up if he does not feel well and when he is coughing. I am imagining the coming days when he gets more active, when he has to go out, go to school, how would he be with asthma? It has also made me think twice about how I manage my own asthma, and I vow to probably be better at managing it.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Loving vs Spoling Children
I don't spoil my children. period.
Spoiling children is very easy to do, just give them everything they want and let them do everything that they want to do. Do everything for them, and when they make mistakes, you spare them the consequences, you don't let them get hurt or explore their surroundings. You provide them with everything, they don't even have to pick after themselves... and when they demand something...you hastily move heaven and earth just to provide it.
I do nothing of the sort...instead, I love my children unconditionally and believe in providing them with the nurturing environment that would help them discover and know their selves as a person of worth. I set boundaries and I try to live up to the demands of motherhood and parenting. I love my children, that I make sure that when it comes to their needs that are necessary for their growth, physically and psychologically, I provide it without them asking for it, because, children associate love and caring with the fulfillment of their needs. I have established a feeding schedule, and I know at what time they will be asking for milk and even before that, I have already prepared their bottles. I also know their sleep patterns and what variables could affect their sleeping schedule, like too much activity, strange environment, too much food or the lack of it, and their moods. I don't mean to say that my children are always easy to manage and that they are good tempered and behaved at all times. They also have their tantrums, their ill tempers, and their moods, which are all necessary and part of their self-exploration, because it helps them become who they are.
I do not tolerate ill-manners, nor disrespect and plain violence. So when they hurt other people, I punish them and make them realize that they are wrong. I also teach them politeness and kindness, but it takes a lot of practice and sometimes they miss it, but what is important is to not give up. I am not a traditional mom, I really don't believe in hurting children because you want to prove that you know better and because you are in a bad mood and short-tempered. I try very much to not take out in my children all my frustrations and disappointments under the guise of discipline.
You tell me, what really is discipline? Although, I don't approve of hitting children, I sometimes think it is necessary but it should always be commensurate to the mistake or the wrongdoing. If a child refuses to eat because he is not hungry, then there is no reason to hit him, maybe he does not like the food, or maybe he had something to eat earlier which disrupted his appetite. However, if a child has intentionally hurt someone, then that warrants a more painful punishment. In this way, the child would learn the difference between what is really really bad or wrong, and will try not to commit that mistake again.
Parenting is difficult, it takes a lot of balance acts, sometimes on wires and poles...because if you punish too much, you end up with robotic and mindless children, because everything they do is criticized, they only learn what not to do. If you punish too little, then you end up with smart-ass children, who find ways to get out of their mistakes by blaming others, because they really don't know why they are being punished. What I find comforting is, that when you let your love for your children guide your decisions and actions, you will have active, playful, friendly, good tempered, behaved and beautiful children who know themselves and what they need to do to make other people happy.
As they say, love begets love, if you show children love and care, they will also love and care for you, without conditions. Children need a strong, comforting and loving parent, so they would feel secure and loved, if you don't provide this, children would constantly be seeking for security and love outside or from other people. And children has this amazing knack for knowing people who really love them, and they never forget them, and in times when they feel bad or scared, they would naturally cry out for that person to save them. Not because, that person has spoiled them, but because, they know that they will not be hurt. Ok,maybe sometimes children use it as an excuse to get out of a difficult situation, but they are children and they are fragile little hearts and minds, easily impressionable and corrupted. And the more we force them to do what pleases without consideration for their own personalities, they will grow up to become insecure children.
Insecure children are difficult, they constantly whine and cry, they do not want to be left alone, they cling to you like leeches and they really don't have any sense of identity apart from you. Who would want children to be this way? I want my children to be curious, to have a love for learning, for exploring their environments, to make their own choices and to have their own dreams and ambitions. And even of they are both under 2 years old at this time, it is never too early to start!
I know this has been a long diatribe but I am making a point here, love is not spoiling... love is love.
Spoiling children is very easy to do, just give them everything they want and let them do everything that they want to do. Do everything for them, and when they make mistakes, you spare them the consequences, you don't let them get hurt or explore their surroundings. You provide them with everything, they don't even have to pick after themselves... and when they demand something...you hastily move heaven and earth just to provide it.
I do nothing of the sort...instead, I love my children unconditionally and believe in providing them with the nurturing environment that would help them discover and know their selves as a person of worth. I set boundaries and I try to live up to the demands of motherhood and parenting. I love my children, that I make sure that when it comes to their needs that are necessary for their growth, physically and psychologically, I provide it without them asking for it, because, children associate love and caring with the fulfillment of their needs. I have established a feeding schedule, and I know at what time they will be asking for milk and even before that, I have already prepared their bottles. I also know their sleep patterns and what variables could affect their sleeping schedule, like too much activity, strange environment, too much food or the lack of it, and their moods. I don't mean to say that my children are always easy to manage and that they are good tempered and behaved at all times. They also have their tantrums, their ill tempers, and their moods, which are all necessary and part of their self-exploration, because it helps them become who they are.
I do not tolerate ill-manners, nor disrespect and plain violence. So when they hurt other people, I punish them and make them realize that they are wrong. I also teach them politeness and kindness, but it takes a lot of practice and sometimes they miss it, but what is important is to not give up. I am not a traditional mom, I really don't believe in hurting children because you want to prove that you know better and because you are in a bad mood and short-tempered. I try very much to not take out in my children all my frustrations and disappointments under the guise of discipline.
You tell me, what really is discipline? Although, I don't approve of hitting children, I sometimes think it is necessary but it should always be commensurate to the mistake or the wrongdoing. If a child refuses to eat because he is not hungry, then there is no reason to hit him, maybe he does not like the food, or maybe he had something to eat earlier which disrupted his appetite. However, if a child has intentionally hurt someone, then that warrants a more painful punishment. In this way, the child would learn the difference between what is really really bad or wrong, and will try not to commit that mistake again.
Parenting is difficult, it takes a lot of balance acts, sometimes on wires and poles...because if you punish too much, you end up with robotic and mindless children, because everything they do is criticized, they only learn what not to do. If you punish too little, then you end up with smart-ass children, who find ways to get out of their mistakes by blaming others, because they really don't know why they are being punished. What I find comforting is, that when you let your love for your children guide your decisions and actions, you will have active, playful, friendly, good tempered, behaved and beautiful children who know themselves and what they need to do to make other people happy.
As they say, love begets love, if you show children love and care, they will also love and care for you, without conditions. Children need a strong, comforting and loving parent, so they would feel secure and loved, if you don't provide this, children would constantly be seeking for security and love outside or from other people. And children has this amazing knack for knowing people who really love them, and they never forget them, and in times when they feel bad or scared, they would naturally cry out for that person to save them. Not because, that person has spoiled them, but because, they know that they will not be hurt. Ok,maybe sometimes children use it as an excuse to get out of a difficult situation, but they are children and they are fragile little hearts and minds, easily impressionable and corrupted. And the more we force them to do what pleases without consideration for their own personalities, they will grow up to become insecure children.
Insecure children are difficult, they constantly whine and cry, they do not want to be left alone, they cling to you like leeches and they really don't have any sense of identity apart from you. Who would want children to be this way? I want my children to be curious, to have a love for learning, for exploring their environments, to make their own choices and to have their own dreams and ambitions. And even of they are both under 2 years old at this time, it is never too early to start!
I know this has been a long diatribe but I am making a point here, love is not spoiling... love is love.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
The Backyardigans
I had the unfortunate luck of finding a dvd of The Backyardigans and of course thinking how my little boy loves music and dancing, I bought it and hoped he would like it and maybe I would have some respite from his questions and mumblings...the end result?
He liked it so much, I can't even hear anything else in the house, even in my sleep I sing .."we're going to Mars" and "I make pie...like a samurai!" Oh...don't get me wrong...among the dvd's I have bought and downloaded, The Backyardigans seem to be the best one. I have all the Baby Einstein, Brainy Baby, Baby Can Read, Little People, Super Why and Little Einstein, some where too advanced for my baby, and some where too babyish...The Backyardigans where the most appropriate and probably the most enjoyable. The melody of the songs were modern and easily accessible, but what I like most about it is that the characters sing the story of the episodes and they actually make use of imagination as they pretend to be on adventures. My baby also likes it that first thing he does when waking up is to ask anyone to put the dvd on and open the tv.
One morning, I heard him humming the songs and he actually was in tune! He also has a favorite episode and he keeps repeating it no matter what time of day. His dad is complaining because he can't even watch the news on tv! I guess we just have to buy another tv...and of date...I had to find another copy of the dvd because the one I bought was already worn out!
Boinga! Boinga!
He liked it so much, I can't even hear anything else in the house, even in my sleep I sing .."we're going to Mars" and "I make pie...like a samurai!" Oh...don't get me wrong...among the dvd's I have bought and downloaded, The Backyardigans seem to be the best one. I have all the Baby Einstein, Brainy Baby, Baby Can Read, Little People, Super Why and Little Einstein, some where too advanced for my baby, and some where too babyish...The Backyardigans where the most appropriate and probably the most enjoyable. The melody of the songs were modern and easily accessible, but what I like most about it is that the characters sing the story of the episodes and they actually make use of imagination as they pretend to be on adventures. My baby also likes it that first thing he does when waking up is to ask anyone to put the dvd on and open the tv.
One morning, I heard him humming the songs and he actually was in tune! He also has a favorite episode and he keeps repeating it no matter what time of day. His dad is complaining because he can't even watch the news on tv! I guess we just have to buy another tv...and of date...I had to find another copy of the dvd because the one I bought was already worn out!
Boinga! Boinga!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
A city of waterfalls without water!
I woke up with a bad case of sinusitis, must be due to the cold nights and the cold blast from the AC. Anyway, I was still dazed when I saw Hubby leave for work and I was holding V (baby girl). I sat down and played Glee's album "Journey to Regionals". It was great.... but I was still dozing off... then I remembered I also had their Power of Madonna album so I put it on and was energized with Express Yourself and Like A Virgin... haaayyy really adore Madonna, takes me back to my elementary years...that's how long Madonna has been singing?
Oh...enough of my ramblings... on with the post...so needless to say I was singing and belting out Borderline when my nanny arrived and said there will be a water interruption today. So I got like ...huh? go check the water now...and my sis-in-law says... yeah there' no more water... and I went like "why you did not tell me?"... so the short story is...we do not have water...to bath the babies, to go to the CR and to wash the dishes! We had 2 jugs of purified water, so at least we had something, for drinking and cooking.
What is ironic about this is that Iligan is known for being the CITY of WATERFALLS....and yet the city's water system is a royal pain in the ass...I am fortunate enough to have flowing water 24 hours everyday....but for some areas in the city they only have 3 to 6 hours of flowing water. But today we have a water interruption... which was poorly announced thus many of us are left dumbfounded... without water for the whole day...
To make fun of our predicament...no use getting frustrated about it... we got banana leaves for eating...so we would not have to wash dishes...and I told my househelp they have to go to the mall if they need to use the CR! anyway it is just a mere 5 to 10 minutes from us, so might as well do it there! For the babies...well thank God for baby wipes! I could have kissed the inventor of baby wipes now! But they were not able to take their baths, so they kind of feel hot and icky... but I will just give them a sponge bath to cool them down.
Good day to all!
Oh...enough of my ramblings... on with the post...so needless to say I was singing and belting out Borderline when my nanny arrived and said there will be a water interruption today. So I got like ...huh? go check the water now...and my sis-in-law says... yeah there' no more water... and I went like "why you did not tell me?"... so the short story is...we do not have water...to bath the babies, to go to the CR and to wash the dishes! We had 2 jugs of purified water, so at least we had something, for drinking and cooking.
What is ironic about this is that Iligan is known for being the CITY of WATERFALLS....and yet the city's water system is a royal pain in the ass...I am fortunate enough to have flowing water 24 hours everyday....but for some areas in the city they only have 3 to 6 hours of flowing water. But today we have a water interruption... which was poorly announced thus many of us are left dumbfounded... without water for the whole day...
To make fun of our predicament...no use getting frustrated about it... we got banana leaves for eating...so we would not have to wash dishes...and I told my househelp they have to go to the mall if they need to use the CR! anyway it is just a mere 5 to 10 minutes from us, so might as well do it there! For the babies...well thank God for baby wipes! I could have kissed the inventor of baby wipes now! But they were not able to take their baths, so they kind of feel hot and icky... but I will just give them a sponge bath to cool them down.
Good day to all!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
All about Bam
Why Bam?
My 22 month old son is beginning to acquire language and although he can communicate effectively, he still can't pronounce the words right. He calls me BAM! with the exclamation point for emphasis. Why? I really have no idea... of course his dad calls me Mom, so maybe he imitated it but could not get the mmmm sound right. But he calls me Mama when his hurt or just need a tight hug...so its not that. But whatever the reason for being called BAM!, I like to think it is special.
I heard someone say that mothers should have a creative outlet, because taking care of babies can drive anyone crazy. I don't really agree with the statement, because, although, at times I feel horrible and frustrated, I never get crazy. I do believe though that we should all have a creative pursuit, and mine is writing. Which basically explains the existence of this blog. I had been blogging for some time, and had several blogs about different things, but, sometimes life gets in the way, and I had to give it up for lack of time and sometimes, lack of inspiration.
But now, I have plenty to write about, and this blog will just be about my personal journey into the challenges and triumphs of motherhood. I also have a 5 month old baby girl, so you see, am going to be mothering two babies at the same time! so do come back and check out my funny, insightful, sometimes emotional accounts of my life as a mother to two babies.
Joie de vivre!
My 22 month old son is beginning to acquire language and although he can communicate effectively, he still can't pronounce the words right. He calls me BAM! with the exclamation point for emphasis. Why? I really have no idea... of course his dad calls me Mom, so maybe he imitated it but could not get the mmmm sound right. But he calls me Mama when his hurt or just need a tight hug...so its not that. But whatever the reason for being called BAM!, I like to think it is special.
I heard someone say that mothers should have a creative outlet, because taking care of babies can drive anyone crazy. I don't really agree with the statement, because, although, at times I feel horrible and frustrated, I never get crazy. I do believe though that we should all have a creative pursuit, and mine is writing. Which basically explains the existence of this blog. I had been blogging for some time, and had several blogs about different things, but, sometimes life gets in the way, and I had to give it up for lack of time and sometimes, lack of inspiration.
But now, I have plenty to write about, and this blog will just be about my personal journey into the challenges and triumphs of motherhood. I also have a 5 month old baby girl, so you see, am going to be mothering two babies at the same time! so do come back and check out my funny, insightful, sometimes emotional accounts of my life as a mother to two babies.
Joie de vivre!
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